Psalm One Thirty Nine

dying to self.


We are supposed to do it everyday. Actually, we should be glad to do it. It should be something that we look forward to. Because ultimately, in order to be in God's will, we must be out of our own. Hmmm, this is where it gets tricky. For me, it's a little more than tricky. I over-think, over-plan and over-organize everything. I guess I am just one of those people that always has to know what's going on at all times. I like to know the agenda. Which, I guess is good...when it's God's agenda. And to be honest... it's usually my agenda. Can anyone relate? Matthew 16:24-25 says, "Then said Jesus unto his disciples, If any man will come after me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross, and follow me. For whosoever will save his life shall lose it: and whosoever will lose his life for my sake shall find it." I am in a season of learning how to die to myself. Die to my selfish motives. Die to my desires. Die to my will. Die to my wants. There's that verse in John 3:30 that says, "He must increase and I must decrease". I need to lay aside my wants and pray for His perfect will to be accomplished in my life. God seems to be teaching me a lesson over and over again. I feel as if I am the worst listener ever. I am a trouble child! God, time and time again, shows me that if I live a life out of His will, a life that doesn't focus on Him, a life that is not giving Him the glory, my plans will crumble. So I am at a point in my life where my plans have crumbled and become pieces on the floor. It is my desire to pick them up and try to put back all the pieces, try to make things right....

I am doing that in my power, not in His. I once heard a saying that stuck with me. "Some things in life are like glass. Sometimes it's better to leave them broken than try to hurt yourself putting it back together." God is definitely revealing this truth to me. He knows what is best for me. It is up to me to listen to Him. I need to be at His feet and kneel down before Him, submitting to my Father. I have a long way to go on this one....but praise God that He is being glorified through my brokenness. I am here on this earth for one sole purpose: to glorify God. The Bible makes that so clear!! My conclusion? I need to take the time to look at the challenging areas of my life. I need to be asking the question, "are there areas, even small areas, in which God wants to teach me how to lay down my own agenda, die to self, take up my cross and follow Him?"

It may not seem like an exciting path at first, but it is the doorway into the fullness of all He has for me....and for you.


thanks for listening to me ramble....:)


love always,

Em