FORGIVE: it literally means to let go of; to release.
“Forgiveness is a beautiful word, until you have something to forgive.” - C.S. Lewis
When you forgive someone you give up your right to hurt them for hurting you. There is something good about letting go of that bitterness and revenge instead holding on to it, isn't there?
--> But why do we find it so difficult to let go of and to release those offenses that have been committed against us all?
As of late, I have been struggling with forgiving people and the act of forgiveness. How quickly I forget that my Savior has forgiven me for every single one of my sins. So why is it so difficult for me to forgive a brother or a sister?
Out of the honesty of my heart I have often been convinced that forgiveness has to be earned. If someone wrongs me or someone I love, as much as I want to forgive them, I can't unless I feel as if he/she has earned my forgiveness. But the fact is, there is usually nothing someone can do to earn it. When I WAIT until someone earns it, I make myself a prisoner to them, waiting for them to come clean, to apologize, to make amends or to ask for it. I am in a way being bind to the person rather than becoming free to them and moving on with the life that God has ever so graciously given me. Sometimes and all too often I forget that I am on this earth to honor and to GLORIFY Him. Yet still I get so caught up in the actions of others and holding those grudges. That is not my job here on this earth. We are called to forgive just as He has forgiven us. And He forgives us daily, constantly, always.
How about the idea that forgiveness is a one time act? I struggle with this ALL THE TIME. I often think that if I "make the decision" to forgive a someone one time, then that is it..they are forgiven and I can move on. But do I ever actually move on? That is SO not the case and I have been learning during my walk with God that forgiveness and forgiving someone for something is a process that takes more than one " I forgive you." Peter once asked Jesus how many times he should forgive a brother, thinking that seven times would be a fair amount. Jesus responded "seventy times seven." Which, of course, does not LITERALLY mean 490 times, but rather a countless amount of times. Loving a brother or sister in Christ and forgiving them is something that has to be done over and over and over again. And over again. We must continue forgiving until the matter is settled in our heart.
Ever heard of the phrase, "forgive and forget"? Of course you have. We hear that all the time in our world today- we act as if the two are synonymous. When we say to people "you need to forgive and forget what was done to you", we are asking them to do something that is actually quite impossible. Sometimes, forgetting can even short circuit the forgiving process. I feel as if you need to remember why you are forgiving the person. Like I stated above, forgiveness is something that has to be done over and over again. If one were to forget about why they forgave a person, they would no longer be able to continue the process of searching their heart for forgiveness for that person.
I can honestly agree with the statement that "you will never be free from bitterness until you believe in a God that is so powerful and so loving that He can cause all things in your life to work together for good." Not just the good things, but the terrible things- the evil things, the things that you are convinced will never be fixed. I know that I sometimes get in the mind-set of "me, me, me." Okay maybe not just sometimes...more like OFTEN times. I make it work in my mind that the reason to forgive is because of what it does for me, the benefits that I reap from forgiving, the peace that I get in MY heart about moving on and feeling free. I hardly ever think of what it does for my offender. BUT hey check it out: we are called to forgive because we have been forgiven. Forgiveness is the obligation of those of us who have been forgiven by God. It is not the choice or the option, but the OBLIGATION. Jesus said " If you do not forgive others, neither will my Father in heaven forgive you."( Matthew 6:15). Forgiveness is not optional for me or for you, it is essential. We do it because of the forgiveness that we have received. Have you thanked your Father today for the everlasting forgiveness that we have received through the shed blood of His Son?
